


Wanted You to Know

by CozyRavioli



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: First Kiss, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Gift Giving, Idiots in Love, Jealous!Rhys, Jealous!Zer0, Love Confessions, Mandatory Zer0 Unmasking Scene™, Maybe the corniest thing ever written, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Nerds, Other, Pre-BL3 to Post-BL3 timeskip, Strong Language, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zerhys - Freeform, they/them for Zer0
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CozyRavioli/pseuds/CozyRavioli
Summary: Rhys is in love with Zer0, but thinks they’re dating Lorelei.Zer0 is in love with Rhys, but assumes that he has feelings for Sasha.Rhys grows distant and Zer0 is hurt, confused and determined to fix things between them.OrI played BL3 and am desperately reinterpreting canon so that Zer0 x Rhys could theoretically still be a thing, even with Sasha’s photo and Lorelei’s echo logs. I love Lorelei and Sasha is cool too, but Zerhys will always be my eternal Borderlands ship.





	Wanted You to Know

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for a character with gender-neutral pronouns, so let me know if I slipped up anywhere.

Nobody ever owes you their affection. Nobody is entitled to someone else’s love.

If somebody isn’t interested in being with you, you have no right to give them a hard time about it.

Which makes it so much harder when you have to pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because that’s the right thing to do. Doubly so, when that person is your best friend and chief assistant.

Rhys is pumped. Terrified, but pumped.

He’s been putting it off for years now. He often used his duties in the resurrection of Atlas as an excuse. ‘Too busy for stuff like dating,’ he’d say. ‘We have more important things to worry about.’

The truth is; he’s scared. The meek, scaredy-cat Rhys of yesterday is long gone. A few years on Pandora will toughen anyone up, especially if you happen to be the CEO of the premier gun manufacturing corporation in the universe.

He’s even started assembling a battle-mech for himself in case a rogue band of vault hunters decides to attack him, and he needs to become some sort of raid boss in order to defend himself.

“Rhys the Invincible? InRhysable Rhys? Rhys the Undying? Ehh, we’ll work out the name later. In the meantime; have our graphics department start working on the splash screen for my intro and I’ll practice my battle face.”

Point is — not much scares him anymore. Other than Fiona’s fashion sense, at least.

“Nice hat, dork. You look like a homeless magician. When’s the last time you washed that thing?”

“Your opinion would matter a lot more if it weren’t coming from a guy who literally tucks his tie into his pants.”

“I didn’t tuck my tie into my pants. My tie is hiding in my pants because he’s scared of your stinky fedora. Where’d you find it anyway? Pandoran anime club?”

“FOR THE LAST TIME: IT IS NOT A FEDOR—“

But this DOES scare him. Telling Zer0 how he feels IS scary.

Because romance is very much NOT part of Rhys’ skillset.

This isn’t a problem that can be solved by designing cutting-edge tech, putting a price on someone’s head, or making shrewd business decisions. If Zer0 doesn’t feel the same way… Well, Rhys can hardly un-confess (de-confess?)

Which, he hardly expects them to reciprocate his feelings. As confident as Rhys has become in himself, Zer0 is something else entirely. All graceful movements, slender limbs, deadly accuracy and pretty words.

No, Rhys knows deep down that Zer0 could never be interested in pursuing something deeper with him. Still, love is cruel and compels him to take his shot, even when he knows he’ll miss.

He just hopes that it doesn’t hurt their professional relationship once the initial awkwardness of the rejection blows over. He does still need his top assassin after all.

*******

Let it never be said that Rhys doesn’t pull out all the stops. He combs his hair back extra nicely (pomade — not gel. Vaughn gave him that hot tip back before he became a mass-murdering gang-lord that drinks soup out of people’s skulls). 

He pops in that one particular grey and red cybernetic arm that Zer0 had complimented him on a month prior. He puts on two (TWO) layers of deodorant. He’s even come prepared with a handmade, heartfelt gift.

All that good, corny shit that he’s seen in his rom-com ECHO-flicks.

Rhys checks Zer0’s location on his ECHO and makes his way over to the Meridian Metroplex to ‘coincidentally’ intercept them. It’s a little (very) creepy, but leave him be. He means well, bless him.

Earlier in the day, Rhys had asked Zer0 to check in with his newest recruit, Lorelei, to see how they were faring in defending their district from the Maliwan invasion.

It was mostly just an excuse to give Rhys some time alone to get ready to spill his guts. Rhys felt it was an innocent little white lie because Maliwan has actually been suspiciously quiet as of late. Zer0 probably wasn’t in any actual danger.

Of course, as soon as Rhys catches sight of Zer0 from down the street, Maliwan decides to attack.

‘Fucking Katagawa. Give it a rest, dude. Honestly, get a hobby or something. Rakk watching? Stamp collecting, maybe?’

Not that the assault is any problem for Zer0, obviously. Rhys can practically feel the hearts forming in his eyes as he watches Zer0 cut down swathes of Maliwan soldiers with brutal efficiency.

‘Does it make me a sicko to get hard from watching guys get sliced in half? Note to self; Bring up murder-boner with therapist in next session. Don’t want to end up like Jack.’

Even though Zer0 is fending off their assailants with ease, the sheer amount of them is making this encounter drag on. Zer0 had expressed to Rhys in the past that they find taking on many weak enemies to be dull, because “the fodder” never poses a real challenge and mostly just wastes their time.

Rhys intends to speed things up by calling in an Atlas drop ship. Then his soldiers can pick off the rest of the Maliwan troops, Rhys can be the big hero, he can give Zer0 his gift, they can talk and hold hands and kiss and—

‘Oh, well… Uh, never mind…’

Rhys’ barista/freedom-fighter/lieutenant, Lorelei, appears out of nowhere and blasts the remaining Maliwan soldiers to smithereens with dual-wielded assault rifles (Torgue? Really? Show some brand loyalty), all the while shouting colourful obscenities that would make Salvador blush.

‘They made me a caramel macchiato this morning and I just watched them Rambo an entire squad of elite soldiers. What kind of training do cafés need these days? Are hipsters and old people really that dangerous?’

Rad. Disappointing, because Rhys wanted to be the one to help, but still — rad. He’ll have to consider giving Lorelei a raise if they keep up the bad-motherfuckery.

But now isn’t the time to gush about battle-baristas, he has an alien… robot… person (???) to woo.

Except… apparently it IS the time to gush over battle-baristas.

Zer0 goes over to greet Lorelei once all the enemies have been dispatched. “Are you Lorelei? / Rhys sent me to back you up. / but you seem… uh, good.”

‘Uh, good?’ Did Zer0 just… stutter? Why do they look so nervous?

“If that toothbrush-haired wanker wants to help me, he can send over some pallets of food and water for the civilians we’ve got in here. I’ve got my bullets for back up… You starin’ at somethin’, mate?” Lorelei responds.

‘Toothbrush-hair? That doesn’t even make sense, my hair would be horrible at reducing plaque build-up.’

///

‘Wait, is Zer0… blushing?’

Oh no.

“No, I wasn’t, uh… / I’m Zer0. I’ll go tell Rhys. / It was nice meeting… you. Damn it.”

A <3 lights up Zer0’s face, seemingly against their will, as they immediately turn away in order to hide it.

Zer0 just fucked up a haiku.

///

<3

“Oh.”

Rhys had prepared himself to be turned down. After which, he and Zer0 would both navigate the post-rejection awkwardness amicably and eventually settle back into their old roles as best friends and business partners.

But immediately seeing Zer0’s attention drawn to someone else was something Rhys wasn’t ready for. In all their years together, Rhys had NEVER seen Zer0 flustered before. How many nights had he fantasized that he might have that effect on Zer0 one day?

It doesn’t matter. It was stupid to even humour the idea in the first place.

What a fucking moron.

Thankfully, neither Zer0 nor Lorelei had seen Rhys approach in all the commotion, so he manages to retreat with his dignity intact.

It wouldn’t behoove the CEO of Atlas to be caught tearing up in the middle of the street over a stupid, childish crush.

Rhys stiffly greets his security team at Atlas HQ, ascends the elevator to his penthouse office, locks the door and promptly has a private breakdown.

The type of breakdown that can only be described as a tantrum, really. Something you’d never do in front of someone else, but need to indulge in every now-and-then in private.

Just lots of ugly crying, drinking, hair-tugging and snot-wiping, to be honest.

After an hour or so passes, he pulls himself back together. It still aches and burns, but he needs to pack all of that hurt down. Zer0 is too close a friend for Rhys to impose all of his own feelings and presumptions onto.

But for his own sake — for both their sakes, he’ll need to distance himself. The pain is still too raw, and Rhys knows he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve.

Plan B it is then.

Commence Operation: Friendz0ned

It could be worse. Rhys reminds himself that Zer0 would have found someone else eventually and it might be better to rip the bandaid off now.

Besides, Lorelei is a good person.

They’ll make a great couple.

Rhys pops open another bottle of Rakk Ale.

*******

Zer0 doesn’t know what they did wrong.

It hurts.

From the moment they met all those years ago, Zer0 has been completely besotted with Rhys Strongfork.

Zer0 dealt in blood. Drowned in it on a daily basis. So eager to find a challenge to test their skills, they had to consort with all manner of degenerates and psychopaths down on Pandora. The company they had to keep was the worst part of the job, as far as they were concerned.

The only other person that truly seemed to share their way of thinking was Sir Hammerlock; noble and eager to hunt as he was. Except, Hammerlock hunted furs and hides, whereas Zer0 hunted skins and scalps.

So, to then meet Rhys — loveable, gentle Rhys — at the ‘Murder Rally 12000’ of all places was a bizarre, but extremely welcome surprise.

They still fondly recall their first meeting on an almost daily basis.

“You’re… really cool. I just— I wanted you to know that,” Rhys had said, as he wrung his hands together and smiled all bashfully.

<3

However, Rhys has become distant with them. Friendly, but in a way that seems put on and manufactured.

They still work together like a well oiled machine. They still chat. They still hang out together in their free time.

But their time at work is all business now. The banter, easy touches and friendly teasing is gone.

When they speak, it’s never about anything too private or personal.

When they hang out it’s always Zer0 who initiates it, and Rhys always casually invites other people along with them. Always sitting close to Zer0, but never next to Zer0.

Also, Rhys has grown a moustache.

There’s nothing wrong with the moustache. There really isn’t. Everyone else is overreacting and, frankly, their friends are in no position to comment on anyone else’s fashion choices.

“You need some new clothes. / You’re like an indie-rock lead. / Not in a good way.”

“I’d rather be an indie rockstar than a one-man Daft Punk cover band,” Sasha the Asshole replies, asshole-ishly.

>:O

No, it’s not the moustache itself, but rather the… the context of the moustache.

The moustache emits a depressing aura. As if it were facial hair born of despair.

Zer0 prides themselves on their professionalism, but just this once they feel inclined to act on their impulses and confront Rhys.

Just to find out what they did wrong.

So they can go back to joking and hugging like they used to.

Zer0 knocks on the door to Rhys’ office, but there’s no response.

Zer0 privately delights in the prospect of surprising Rhys, because popping out from unexpected places and making humans expel urine is one of their favourite pastimes.

Zer0 flips up into one of the air vents in the ceiling (Possible structural exploit for rival assassins. Easy access to Rhys’ office from hallway is a major vulnerability. Bring up in next meeting with head of security) and sneaks their way into Rhys’ office.

Zer0 also decides to snoop around in the locked room while they wait because they have no shame.

>:3

Zer0 is having a blast sorting through all of the assorted knick-knacks Rhys has displayed proudly on the wall adjacent to his workspace.

A ‘Rakk to the Future’ movie poster.

A copy of ‘How to Run an Intergalactic Arms Company: For Dummies’

Handsome Jack’s mask, which he had purchased from Lilith and uses as a makeshift dartboard when he gets bored with tinkering.

A tiny basketball hoop over a waste bin, filled with crumpled up blueprints for prototypes that Rhys lost interest in.

God, what a doofus.

<3

Zer0 rubs away the heart on their faceplate even though nobody is around, because cool assassins don’t love stuff.

Even though Zer0 loves Rhys very much.

It was easy enough to push those feelings aside when they were friendly with each other. Zer0 was happy enough with what they had, and too awkward with social interactions to try and court him.

But now that Rhys is being a dick, they feel neglected.

Zer0 is fortunate that there is no specific emoticon for pouting because they would likely be displaying nothing but that from their helmet these days.

Since Rhys had started avoiding them, Zer0 has had to spend most of their free time with their new friend, Lorelei.

Which is fun and all, but…

Zer0 sighs and checks their ECHO for the time. Rhys is taking forever.

Zer0 slumps down in Rhys’ fancy big-shot chair and starts idly spinning in it.

They can’t help but feel that familiar, petty jealousy well up in their chest when they see the framed photo propped up on the surface of Rhys’ desk.

Sasha.

Dumb Sasha with her dumb hair, dumb vagina and five dumb fingers.

>;’(

THAT came out of nowhere. Rhys had never even seemed to like her before. At least not like THAT. Then all of a sudden her photo pops up in his office one day, displayed proudly on his desk. As if she were worthy of it.

Zer0 wishes they were desk-worthy.

They suppose it would be silly to keep a photo of someone who never takes off their helmet though.

Rhys has expressed curiosity in their appearance. Well, EVERYONE has expressed curiosity, but Rhys more-so. When a human notices the four fingers, they’re bound to start asking questions.

But everyone else always demands answers, whereas Rhys merely gently prods, seemingly because he is genuinely interested in hearing about his friend’s upbringing.

That was one of the things Zer0 loved most about him — his tact. Always so considerate about other people’s preferences and hang-ups.

If Zer0 were to ever trust someone with their face, their body and their story — their WHOLE story, it would be Rhys. Sweet, kind Rhys Strongfork who never looks at them with fear or scowls in disgust when they return to HQ covered in their enemy’s viscera.

But… That’s the one thing Zer0 is afraid of. They can overcome any obstacle, cut down any foe, neutralize any threat. But if Zer0 took off their armour and Rhys looked at them with shock or disgust?

Well, they could hardly stab their hurt feelings to death.

Some things are better left alone; some avenues not worth traversing. How hypocritical of Zer0 to claim to seek a worthy challenge, yet they shy away from the greatest one.

Of all their trophies, Rhys would be the most prized of them all.

:(

Zer0 can’t have that though. And if they can’t have a lover, they’ll at least have their friend back, goddamnit.

They sigh and boot up Rhys’ computer so they can flip through his weapon prototypes to kill time.

One of the best parts of their Atlas gig is getting sneak-previews of whatever new weaponry Rhys is cooking up. Rhys usually brushes off their compliments with an ‘Ahh, c’mon. You’re just saying that ‘cause you work for me.’ But Zer0 truly does salivate over the newest Atlas tech. Rhys has slowly but surely become a master of the craft and looking at his designs is almost like porn for the assassin.

Zer0 inputs Rhys’ log-in that he had entrusted them with.

User: [Witherspoon]  
Password: [LoaderBotIsMySon]

Zer0 clicks on the R&D folder and immediately opens the sniper rifle section, as usual.

‘Oh wow, that barrel. Are those explosive rounds? Goddamn, look at the stock on that one. Slutty little gun, you’re practically begging for it.’

Their gaze eventually drifts off the window and down to Rhys’ trash folder. Even though it takes, like, two extra clicks for a permanent delete Rhys is always too lazy to empty it for some reason. On a whim, Zer0 decides to see what Rhys has deleted recently.

If they’re lucky it’ll be something funny like a dating simulator or something mysterious like that time Zer0 had found dozens of stock images of babies holding wrenches (Rhys said it was for a PowerPoint presentation???)

But when they open the trash folder they see… Well, Zer0 has no idea what to make of it.

>>>Zer0_Gift_V3.2.exe

A… gift? For them? Why did Rhys delete it?

Zer0 drags the file onto the desktop and opens it. They had assumed it would be a text file, so they startle when a machine begins whirring on the opposite end of the room.

Ah, it started up Rhys’ personal digistructor. An actual, physical gift then?

The machine beeps three times in quick succession, signalling that it’s finished creating the mystery object.

They make their way over, reach into the ejection tray and pull out…

Oh.

Oh dear.

It’s a rifle.

Maybe… no, DEFINITELY the most beautiful rifle they’ve ever seen. Through all their years of looting, all the chests, all the vendors, all the vaults, they’d never seen anything quite like it.

Some design choices are initially perplexing, but upon closer inspection they make Zer0’s heart soar.

Zer0 had once mentioned off-handedly that despite their fondness for them, most sniper rifles hurt their hands with extended use, because the stocks and triggers are always designed for hands with five digits in mind.

The butt of this gun, however, has a queer design and is shaped in such a way that their hands can grip it comfortably without overextending any fingers.

And the sights. At first glance there aren’t any at all, not even iron-sights. But when Zer0 moves to aim the gun a holo-scope pops up. Running their fingers along the sides of the projection changes the magnification of the ‘lens’ and Zer0 is thrilled.

‘You have some scuff marks on your mask, Zer0. Did someone actually manage to get close enough to hit you for once?’

‘No, it was my scope. / It bumps into my helmet. / So irritating.’

Every single quality of life adjustment that they had ever hoped for, every single one of their preferred specifications, all molded and shaped into this one gun. A perfect gun.

Zer0 cradles the rifle close to their chest. Why would Rhys ever delete this? Did they really make him that angry? Would he let them keep it if they asked nicely? Why—

“Oh… shit. You found that, huh?”

Zer0’s head whips around as Rhys gently closes the office door behind him.

For the first time in their life, words completely fail them.

Rhys just nods, wearing the expression of a convict walking down death row. “Look… I uh, I tried to be discreet about it. I swear, nothing has to change between us. And—and if it’s too weird for you to keep working for me I would totally understand if you wanted to resign—“

!!!

“Resign? Over what? / What are you trying to say? / I don’t understand.”

Rhys starts fumbling with his fingers like a scolded child. “I mean, it’s uncomfortable right? For you? I’m your boss and your… friend. It’s inappropriate to have these sorts of feelings for you. Especially with, y’know, you and Lorelei dating and all.”

…

[ERR0R]

There’s so much wrong with what Rhys just said that Zer0 has trouble formulating a response.

“…Lorelei and I? / We aren’t dating. Just… close friends.” Zer0 can slowly feel the pieces fitting together in their mind. “Were you… jealous? Rhys?”

However, Rhys doesn’t seem to hear their question as he appears to be focused on their first admission. “You’re not dating?! But… No, you must be. I was coming over to speak with you the day you two first met. You were all… shy and shit. You’re never shy! And you’ve been joined at the hip ever since!” Rhys seems to notice all at once how loud he’s speaking. “Uh, not that there’s a problem with the two of you dating, or whatever. Like, it’s none of my business and you don’t have to fib to spare my feelings because, like, you’re my friend and Lorelei is my friend and I want you two to be happy and—“

Zer0 grips Rhys by the shoulders and he quickly shuts his mouth.

Zer0 has… an idea. These revelations have emboldened them and they’re willing to give it a try. They almost back down, but force themselves to press onward.

“I’d like to talk, Rhys. / Speak… candidly, just this once. / If you’d allow it,” Zer0 offers an accompanying :) to ease the tension.

“Well, yeah. Sure, I mean, you know that you can talk to me about anyth—“

Zer0 reaches behind their head and begins unfastening their head gear.

All the awkwardness seems to leave Rhys, replaced instead with concern. He gently grabs Zer0 by the forearms, preventing them from continuing.

“Hey, c’mon, you don’t have to do that.”

Zer0 hands are shaking minutely, but they stubbornly shrug Rhys’ off.

“I want to.”

And they do.

The helmet thunks against the floor and Zer0 looks another living being directly in the face for the first time in… they can’t even remember how long.

Zer0 can’t help it. They look away. The moment their face came into view they lost their nerve and are currently dreading Rhys’ reaction.

“You’re missing two,” Rhys mumbles from the side.

Zer0 peeks over at him. Surprised that Rhys doesn’t look repulsed, but rather that his own face is beet-red.

“I… two what?” Zer0 asks.

“Y’know… syllables. You said ‘I want to.’ You’re missing two,” Rhys rubs the back of his neck nervously.

Zer0 chuckles despite themselves. “I did say I wanted to speak frankly. So we can forgo the haiku, I think. Just this once,” they repeat.

“Haa— Your voice without the modulator is really… Well, anyway… What did you want to, uh, talk? About? With me?” Zer0 would be hurt by Rhys’ pointedly avoiding looking them in the eyes, were it not for his bright red cheeks.

“This gun that you made — is it because you… are interested in me? As a potential suitor, specifically?” Zer0 inquires, inwardly cringing at the term ‘suitor’ as soon as it leaves their mouth.

“I mean, did you not infer that from the embarrassingly lengthy love note accompanying the rifle?” A small amount of hurt bleeds into Rhys’ voice now, accenting his embarrassment. “Like I said, it’s totally fine that you don’t feel the same way but you don’t have to… make fun of me. Not cool, bro.”

It’s Zer0’s turn to be confused and flustered now. “Love note? There was no such thing!”

Rhys’ face blanches and he covers it with his hands. “The one time I delete something incriminating and I end up blurting it out anyway. God… just, please take the stupid gun and we can both pretend this never happened.”

He expects to hear the light patter of feet leaving his office, what Rhys gets instead is an armful of lanky alien as Zer0 embraces him and rests their chin on top of his head.

“The gun is extraordinary, by the way. I can’t thank you enough for crafting it on my behalf. Does it have a proper name?” Zer0’s voice rumbles all through his body due to their proximity and causes Rhys to flush further. Half his blood is in his face and the other half is in his dick. He might pass out soon.

“You—You have to click the button above the safety,” Rhys mumbles. This is probably going to be the most humiliating part of this whole disaster, but Zer0 would have found the switch eventually anyway.

Zer0 disentangles from Rhys, cocks their brow and presses said button. A holo-screen of the weapon’s diagnostics pop up in front of it.

____________________

[PROPERTY OF ATLAS CORP]

MODEL TITLE: “Nil”

CLASSIFICATION: SNIPER RIFLE [PEARLESCENT]

AVAILABILITY: UNIQUE///UNAVAILABLE TO PUBLIC///RESTRICTED ACCESS—ADMIN

AMMO: 8/120 [FULL]

CONDITION: SATISFACTORY. SERVICE UNNECESSARY

DEV NOTES: I love you. I just wanted you to know that

____________________

Rhys is bracing himself for… he doesn’t know what. Laughter? Pity?

Instead, Zer0 bends down and nuzzles into the crook of his neck. “I feel the same way. For some time now. Years. I wasn’t sure how to approach you with it.”

Even though he doubts Zer0 would ever be cruel enough to lead him on, he is also having trouble believing whatever the hell is happening right now.

“But… you and Lorelei. You get all blushy whenever you’re with them,” Rhys mumbles into Zer0’s shoulder, not sure where to put his hands.

Zer0 sighs, not knowing how to properly explain themselves. “You know that I admire the art of combat, yes?”

Rhys rolls his eyes, which is deserved, honestly. All Zer0 ever talks about is slaughter, ECHO games, baked goods and dumb Kung Fu movies.

Zer0 continues, unperturbed. “I do find pleasure in honing my own skills in battle. However, I also tend to admire alternative approaches to fighting. I personally opt to stay hidden in the battlefield, striking from behind and sniping from a distance.

So, when I come across a fighter who employs more direct, forceful, violent methods — I can’t help but find it… cool. Much to my embarrassment, when I see these individuals in action I sometimes… blush, like you said. Lorelei, Salvador, Maya, Brick — I’ve… fanboyed over them all at point or another, for lack of a better term,” Zer0 admits, a faint purple now staining their own cheekbones.

Wow. 

What a psychopathic dweeb.

If there was ever a time to man up and put some swagger in his step, Rhys figures it should probably be now. He tries to put on his best Rhys Strongfork Smoulder™, but it mostly ends up looking like his constipated Hyperion Face. 

“So, you like… me?” Smooth. “Like, really? Me? Rhys?” Never mind. Not smooth.

Zer0 deadpans down at him. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Rhys (doesn’t) throw his arms around Zer0’s midsection and buries his face in their chest (That’s now how it happened. Cool CEOs don’t behave like horny koalas)

Zer0 eagerly reciprocates Rhys’ embrace, and they allow themselves to enjoy the hug for a moment before their hold on Rhys tightens ominously.

“Uh, Ze? What’re you do—WAH” Zer0 picks Rhys up and marches over to his desk. They then proceed to pick up the photo of Sasha and hold the damning evidence of his crimes in front of Rhys’ face.

“What is the meaning of this?” Zer0 questions, maybe a tad too forcefully. In his peripheral vision, Rhys can see Zer0’s discarded helmet rapidly flashing a bold >8( on the floor.

Rhys’ face pinches. That feels especially stupid of him in retrospect. “Yeah, I figured it would make how I felt about you less obvious. If I seemed like I was into someone else, I mean. Sasha seemed as good a scapegoat as any.”

Zer0’s eyes narrow and Rhys gulps. “You feel nothing for her, then?”

“I mean, not like, anything romantic. She is still my friend. And she makes good stir-fry, I guess,” Rhys clarifies, shrugging sheepishly.

Zer0 scans his face, seemingly gauging whether he’s being honest or not, before nodding, satisfied.

Then they throw the photo frame out the penthouse window and shoot it in midair with their new ‘Nil’ rifle, as if they were skeet shooting.

Rhys scoffs. “That was hardly necessary. No need to be so dramatic.”

Zer0 moves back into Rhys’ personal space and brackets their arms around him, forcing him to lean back against his desk. “How can you blame me? / I’ve seen how she looks at you. / She can not have you.”

Now that Zer0 knows their feelings are returned, they seem to be proceeding as they do in all other aspects of their life — with unrelenting confidence.

Rhys’ knees almost buckle.

“B-Back to using haikus already?” Nice save, Rhys.

Zer0 shrugs. “Old habits die hard.” They lay their palm on Rhys’ cheek and rub their thumb tenderly across his upper-lip.

Rhys winces then laughs. “Oh yeah, the ‘stache. Don’t worry, I’ll shave it off tonight.”

Zer0 tilts their head and a question mark lights up the helmet at their feet. “Why? I’ve grown rather fond of it the past few months.”

“Oh… Well, I only grew it in the first place because you said it looked bad on me. I thought it could act as a sort of physical barrier between us — to make it easier on me when I assumed you were with Lorelei,” Rhys says, idly poking at said moustache.

???

“I never said it looked bad on you! I would never!” Zer0 exclaims as they rack their memory.

Rhys also looks perplexed. “It was maybe a year and a half ago. I tried growing it out just to see if I liked it or not and you literally said I looked like a beast.”

!!!

“Like… a sexy beast. / You thought it was an insult? / How embarrassing.”

///

Rhys stares at them with wide eyes for a moment before snorting and breaking out into laughter. Zer0 pouts, fully visible for the first time, which only makes Rhys laugh harder.

“A sexy beast? Where’d you learn that? A budget porn ECHO from the 70’s?,” Rhys wheezes.

Zer0 crosses their arms and shuffles their feet. “Moxxi said it was a good line to use.”

“Don’t use Moxxi’s pick-up lines, Ze. People forget that she’s like 60 years old now. She may be a sexy grandma, but she’s still a grandma. I’m surprised she didn’t suggest asking me out to a drive-through theatre,” Rhys carefully places his hands on Zer0’s hips, not sure if he’s allowed. He’s overcome with giddiness when Zer0 doesn’t pull away.

“Yes, well hopefully pick-up lines won’t be necessary at all anymore, seeing as I’ve already ‘picked you up,’” Zer0 brushes their foreheads together.

“Dork,” Rhys mumbles, gazing up into Zer0’s pitch black eyes. “God, your eyes are huge.”

Zer0’s brow pinches and they shift slightly. “Ah. I can put the helmet back on if you’d like?”

“NO! No, no. It’s uh, it’s a good thing. Trust me. They’re adorable,” Rhys rushed to placate them.  
“Assassins aren’t adorable,” Zer0 frowns.

“This one is,” Rhys pinches their hip.

Zer0 doesn’t yelp.

Assassins don’t yelp either.

Rhys bites his lip nervously and vaguely gestures at Zer0’s lips? Mandible? Double-pointy mouth thing? “Can I— you know?”

Zer0 leans in halfway. “I don’t know. Can you? / You take so long to make a… move. Shit.”

Zer0 fucked up a haiku.

Because of him! 

Rhys pounces.


End file.
